Complicated Grief

Introduction

Did you know?

A bereavement is made up of the primary loss and an unknown number of secondary losses.

You can imagine throwing a pebble into a lake. The first wave is the primary loss, for example, the death of a loved one. Each ripple that follows can cause pain and long-lasting changes to the bereaved’s life.

Let’s move on

Common Forms of Secondary Grief

Let us share some insights into the most common forms of secondary grief.

Loss of shared time / fitness
The parents who, along with their children, regularly take the dog out may lose the excuse for their daily walk together.

Loss of social life
Informal friendships often form when schedules synchronise. When the schedule is changed, the social circle may also be lost.

Loss of past connections
A pet may form a link to family members that have passed away. It can feel as if the death of a pet has severed a link to the past and the person who passed away.

Loss of purpose
Looking after a pet requires a commitment towards feeding, exercising, cleaning and so on. Some elderly pet owners may find looking after their pet to be the purpose of their lives. That purpose vanishes when the pet passes away.

Select the arrows to learn about different occurrences.

Secondary Grief Scenario: Activity

George

George is a 75-year-old man who lives with his daughter Anne, two granddaughters, and a sick cat, Napoleon.

George has Parkinson’s. He remains seated in his wheelchair holding his frail cat in a basket on his lap. His wife, who named him Napoleon, rescued him as a kitten.

Anne explains that the cat has been sick for several months and is becoming frailer. Napoleon has been messing all over the new house and has had fits. This prompted them to bring Napoleon to the vet.

Anne’s mother died a couple of years ago. George is in no fit state to look after himself or the cat. Anne is agitated as she has clearly had enough of the mess and looks weary.

The doctor confirms that Napoleon is suffering from advanced cancer. Anne wants to have Napoleon put to sleep and is urging for a quick decision. George looks pale and tearful. He mutters that his biggest wish is that he and the cat no longer suffer. He also wishes that Napoleon gets a decent resting place.

Check your understanding

Secondary Grief Scenario: Activity

George

What are the complicating factors, in this case, which might influence the grief and vulnerability of this pet’s owner and other members of the family?

Select the correct option and submit.